“Sisters!”…
… it’s that time of year again, pumpkin this and pumpkin that! While the leaves change color and create the crunching sound of Fall, one thing is for sure – when seasons change, so too can our moods. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a mild depression that often begins in Fall and can continue into winter as the season changes. SAD affects 3 million people annually and can be treated with artificial sun lamps, talk therapy, and in more severe cases, medication. However, what happens when SAD is only one aspect of our down feelings? What do we do when our pain, conflict, or life problems are the result, in part, of our own doing?
Are you your own Saboteur?
The act of self-sabotaging occurs when a person meddles in their own life in such a way that causes problems in their day-to-day lives and personal relationships. These actions, whether conscious or not, tend to harm our integrity and ultimately push us further away from our goals and values. How can we avoid being put under our own self-sabotage spell?
Get to know your worst critic: Get to know you…
Our internal voice can be an amazing thing. It can give us the pep talk we need to enter a crucial conversation while simultaneously convince us that we’ll fail. What is perhaps most important in tackling your inner self-saboteur is knowing the difference between real and perceived threats. A real threat is something that is tangible with facts that connect to your current situation. While a perceived threat is rooted in fear of something occurring that is informed by the past and not in the here-and-now. The self-saboteur is often related to a maladaptive behavior from your past, especially your childhood. This maladaptive past can sometimes act as a spell we are under to protect us from very real fear we may have experienced in the past. The question to ask yourself is “Does this action get me closer to my goals? Is this action rooted in fear or love? Would I tell my friend to do this in a similar situation?” By stopping to unpack what our inner voice might be saying, we open ourselves up to making decisions that are firmly planted in the here-and-now and allow us to examine our next steps with our goals and values at the forefront.
Create behavioral changes: Small and large
For many of us, procrastination can be the most present and clear type of self-sabotaging behavior. Research states that making simple changes in behavior can have a lasting effect on procrastination. However, when our self-sabotaging behavior creeps into territory that negatively impacting others, begins to affect your health, or causes avoidable pain in our lives, it might be time to get professional help. Seeking help from a life coach, a licensed mental health counselor, or a substance abuse counselor, might be the next step for you to make large shifts in your life. By asking for help, you are acknowledging the task of getting better and unpacking the roots of your inner self-saboteur piece-by-piece.
Establish a Community of Anti-Saboteurs
Our friends and family can often smell our inner self-saboteur from a mile away. When we let our loved ones know our values, dreams, and goals, they often know when we are off course. However, our inner self-saboteur is clever. Part of its goal is to remove any obstacle that threatens its plan to avoid perceived pain and hurt the very people who love us the most. In order to outsmart our self-saboteur’s plans, we must communicate with our loved ones beforehand by sharing our trust in them to help us when we are our own worst enemy. How might you outsmart your worst critic? What will help center you in times of sorrow or rash decision making? How can your community hold you accountable to your values, dreams, and goals? These are important questions to ask yourself and communicate with the people who know and love you the most.
You’ve got this.
If you’re looking for tools to stop your inner self-saboteur in their tracks, let’s talk. Send me a text or call today and let’s put your mental health first, together.
Visit my website to find out more about the type of therapy I do in Fort Collins and online in Colorado at www.axiscounseling.com
Adam-Jon Aparicio, LPC
970-239-1983
Axis Counseling, PLLC
WHERE WELLNESS MEETS ACTION
